Mandy The Mandragora (Episode One)

Once upon a time in the ancient land of Vana'Diel there lived a Yhoator Mandragora by the name of Mandy. He (yes, he) spent most of his time dancing and practicing the martial arts of the Mandragora Monk. Then, one day, he was enjoying a nice chat with his good friend, Pumpkin Seed, and a group of adventurers came storming into the clearing.

Mandy and Pumpkin Seed looked at this group of six, armed to the teeth and fire in their eyes. However, being mandragoras, they merely shrugged their shoulders and continued their conversation.

Mandy: "I finally grew a four-leaf mandragora bud...wanna see it?"

Pumpkin Seed: "No...god, no...keep your pants on."

Mandy: "Don't be perverted. It's on my back. See..."

Pumpkin Seed: "Oh, yeah...that's very nice. My two leaf hasn't sprouted yet. Should soon."

This was all fine and dandy until a Warrior came running toward the two Mandragoras and yelled something at Mandy.

Warrior: [Provoke] [Just used it]

Mandy: "What kind of language is that?"

Pumpkin Seed: "Hmm...I think that language is called...Ato Trans Leight. It's an odd language commonly used by the creatures known as Player Characters."

Mandy: "I see."

The Warrior seemed vexed by the Mandragoras lack of response.

Warrior: "I am vexed."

He scratched his head then turned back to his party. They, snickering, motioned him onward. So, the Warrior now with a big grin on his face turned back to the Mandragora duo.

Warrior: "Hey, Onion Head! Come and get me!"

Mandy immediately took offense at this. He moved towards the Warrior. The Warrior started running away.

Mandy: "Wait a minute...come back here. My name is not Onion Head. That's my brother. I'm Mandy. Mandy the Mandragora. Oh, would you just stop...I just want to introduce myself."

Mandy continued after the fleeing Warrior. He rounded a bend and came face to face with a group of glaring adventurers...all with weapons drawn.

Mandy: "Oh, seed!"

He tried to turn back but a Dark Knight wearing a tight subligar took a roundhouse swing at him with a large scythe. Fortunately, the Bard was away for a moment so the Dark Knight missed terribly. Mandy shook his leafy fist at the Dark Knight when the Warrior, that had called him Onion Head, smacked him in the face with an axe.

Mandy: "Ouch! Hey, watch it!"

There was a loud *kaboom* and Mandy realized he was on fire. A little Tarutaru Black Mage had just cast a fire spell on him. The Tarutaru turned away, sheepishly, trying to hide from Mandy.

Mandy: "Oh God! I'm burning up! Oh, no! My four leaf mandragora bud!"

Mandy inspected his backside and saw a burnt bit of stubble where his coveted four leaf mandragora bud had once grown. A single tear rolled down his white and green cheek. He glared at the Black Mage, fury in his heart.

Mandy: "Now, you've gone and done it! Now, you've done seeded me off!"

With a barbaric cry, that sounded more like a chipmunk squeak, Mandy raced towards the Tarutaru Black Mage and began pummeling the ... umm... seed out of him. The Black Mage quickly went down, he quivered and shook on the ground while a Mithra White Mage frantically attempted to cast Cure on the poor Tarutaru.

Mandy: “Oh, and I suppose you are going to help him after what he did?!?”

Mandy howled furiously and knocked out the Mithra with a few well placed blows. Meanwhile, the Dark Knight and Warrior were frantically yelling all sorts of names at Mandy in an attempt to tick him off. They kept saying “Provoke” and “Last Resort” and other such nonsense like that. Suddenly, Mandy felt a sharp pain in his back side and howled in agony. A Thief had snuck up behind him and delivered a [Sneak Attack] to his already burnt bum.

Mandy: “You bastitch!”

The little mandragora whirled around and started pounding on the Thief. The Thief cackled, saying that his Ninjitsu shadows would protect him. However, in just two rounds, Mandy had knocked down all the shadows and was drawing blood from the impetuous Thief.

Thief: “Get him off me!!!”

Warrior: “I’m trying to!”

Dark Knight: “This mandragora is insanely tough!”

Mandy knew this to be true, he was well versed in the lore of the Mandragora Monk. He decided now would be the time to unleash his other abilities. Summoning his innate mandragora talents, Mandy put the interlopers to sleep with his Dream Flower.

Party: “Zzz.”

Mandy brushed a leafy hand against his nose and nodded curtly at the sleeping adventurers. He was just about to turn around and head back to Pumpkin Head when he noticed the Warrior cry out for help. Aggravated, Mandy leapt onto the Warrior and began punching and kicking him mercilessly. Then, he saw a horde of Paladins, Ninjas, Dragoons and many others rushing towards him.

Mandy: “Oh, SEED!!!”

Mandy attempted to run away but the oncoming horde beat on him without compassion. He knew he was done for, he cast Photosynthesis but to no avail, he sent a barrage of poisoned leaves at a Blue Mage but the turbaned assassin shrugged it off with a chuckle. The final blow came not from the adventurers but from his very comrade, Pumpkin Seed.

Mandy: “Why?”

Pumpkin Seed: “I’m sorry…the Beastmaster made me do it.”

Mandy, struggling in his death throes, looked up and saw an Elvaan wearing sheep’s clothes and controlling his best friend like a puppet. At last, he fell to the ground and died.

Just then, the Bard from the original party came back from wherever it was that he had been. The bard looked around at his fallen party members then he turned to the Dark Knight.

Bard: “I’m back. What happened?”

The Dark Knight promptly slapped the Bard and this time he did not miss.